Anger Management

Have you ever shouted at a cow or a dog who stepped in front of your car right out of nowhere and your prized possession barely escaped getting scratched or dented. What’s more, you narrowly escaped hurting or killing an animal, the guilt of which would have lingered in your subconscious for a long time to come. Chances are you cursed and you cussed but did not get out of your car to give a piece of your mind to the four-legged one. If anyone did, get out of the car, to explain the traffic rules to the animal, you really need help.

Has anyone shouted at God almighty when things don’t go your way? I did once but to no avail. He had too much patience and control over his anger and did not bother to respond to my threatening pleas.

How many times has it happened that you saw something wrong going on but did not react telling yourself that there is no reason to bother, since the incident did not affect you directly. A stranger driving too fast on the highway, a father, not known to you, hitting his son etc. Think seriously, how many times has your raving and ranting, helped get out something positive out of a situation, other than giving you the satisfaction that you did not take it lying down.

How many times did you get angry when you knew that somehow you were responsible, even though, partially, for whatever happened?

There are some important lessons about anger and it’s management in the above paragraphs. Three of them are:

(a) We don’t get angry when we know that the anger is not going to register with the one responsible for our misery or when we are certain any amount of anger is not going to result in anything.

(b) We don’t get angry when we are convinced that the anger generating act is not going to affect us in any way.

(c) We don’t get angry when we know that we are partly to be blamed for the situation.

Herein lies the secret to controlling your anger.

You must understand that when you are angry with anyone, more so when with the people known to you, they switch off and their senses take a flight. They do not understand the things you are saying. They become defensive and are already figuring out how to justify their act or how to get out of the situation or how to assuage your temper. They have stopped listening to your logic and whatever you say is falling on deaf ears. In short it is akin to shouting at an animal, whose tail caught you on the face when you passed by. If the other party is better at anger management than you and do not give it back to you at the very next instant, it just means that they care for you or are scared of you or just couldn’t care less. The last two situations are not very desirable and if it is the first one you ought to be ashamed of yourself. You will be much better to engage the other party in decent, civil discussion and put across your point of view to avoid a similar circumstance arising at a later day.

When I look back upon my life and that of my temperamentally ‘hot’ friends and relatives, nothing they ever got angry for, has affected their life for good. It was very temporary and in most cases the things resolved themselves leaving only a taste of bitterness in their relationships. They actually laugh about the things they did and I am sure feel a sense of shame. What I am saying is, Are the things that are making you angry really affecting you. 99% of the times no. This is evident from the fact that if the same thing happens to some other person you will probably think nothing of it. Then how does it matter so much when it happens to you. The trick, a difficult one to practice, is to detach yourself from the situation. Leave the body for some time and think that it is happening to someone else and how you would react when this thing happens to someone else. Chances are you will realize that it’s nothing. Most of what we consider to be PROBLEMS are actually minor inconveniences. Just think nothing of it. It is NOT a life changing or threatening situation and will pass.

Whatever the situation, give the other person the benefit of doubt and know that you were also in some responsible for the situation. You can’t clap with one hand, can you? If you think this way, you can not only avoid getting angry but also give yourself the time to think holistically about the situation and be more pragmatic while discussing it later. Stop being so certain of yourself and ‘knowing’ that grave injustice has been done to only you and letting fly at every occasion. You must pause, count up to ten or do whatever it takes you to let the moment pass and then consider what happened before you jump to conclusions.

To summarize, getting angry will only end up spoiling your relationships and your health. It also will create a feeling of bitterness in the other party, who I am sure will wait for the day when he/she can get back at you. So much more can be achieved if you can control your anger and sort out issues / give out lessons / preach when things are under control, emotions are not flying and the other party is willing to listen and engage.

One last thing, remember to give yourself and others a chance. Don’t get angry at the moment, you have your whole life to do so.

When Will We Ask The Women?

Jesus, Mohamed, Buddha, Mahavira, Gobind Singh? Enough proof that mythology was written or created by man?

It goes against human as well as divine nature that God, irrespective of his sex would give the honor of reproduction to a different sex, unless of course he/she was aware of the pain associated with the process of reproduction. Pain could not have been a reason for handing over the procreation part to women because God in our own eyes is strong and would not have bothered about the same sex not being able to handle it. God is also just and fair and therefore would not have put the burden of childbirth as well as rearing the children on the women just because it was inconvenient. 

God was also very certain of the idea of putting the life cycle in a continuum and hence would have thought about it nicely and properly before he/she put it in motion and would have certainly thought about the capability of the two sexes to handle pressure and the pain associated with the process of procreation. Therefore logic has it that God must be a woman since she knew what she was capable of and also trusted her kind to take her idea forward.

How can one call God just and fair if he/she, till now has not chosen a woman to create a religion, (No, Madonna and Kabala do not qualify). All the religions have their genesis in men. That, all of them are seriously messed up, is a different matter altogether. Essentially what the men have done is nothing, but preached from their perched up lives all the time. Lazy bums, I would call them. Forever in conflict with the women and trying to suppress and subjugate them. None of our spiritual leaders or Gods, shall I say, ever respected the women enough or treated them at par with the men. How could they have been so partial to another human being? I guess the answer lies in the fact that they always knew who was better and tried their best to establish superiority by slander and fifth column. I can only presume that men have created all the religions and the idea essentially was to lay down guidelines for the women to follow. It so happened that it would have looked so churlish that the men who were creating religions also said some cock and bull about other aspects of human life, which I must say are totally open to debate. In any case no one is talking about the other aspects of religion, mostly it is about how women should behave.

All of us who have been associated with women (except a few unfortunate ones) do realize that women are much more spiritual beings and understand life much more than men do.

Ask a man a question and you will get a politically correct, to the point, extremely relevant and practical answer. Ask a woman the same question and you will get the entire perspective behind not only the question but also the situation that prompted you to ask the question in the first place.

How many women has one heard of leaving for the Himalayas to seek Niravana and answers to the questions life has thrown at them? Men do it constantly. And in most cases it is only after they have saddled the wives with a multitude of kids to look after. Is it not an escapist attitude? Women on the other hand handle all aspects of their existence with grace and dignity and still manage to have the maturity to look after and care for their husband after return with another failure up at the Himalayas, equally confused and lost about the meaning of life.

Most women never try to achieve Nirvana. I have never heard of one. Is it because they are already there? They experience it constantly through birth, childhood, love, marriage, childbirth and then death. They do not need to seek it. That is why I think God was a woman and the men are unfortunate, despite the ones that tried to give manhood glory, that we will always be seeking the meaning of life and never finding it.

It is high time that we asked the women to come front and take part in this madness and deliver us. We have given enough chances to the men to set things right, to get the meaning of life. When will we ask the women?

Are we Killing Tiger Woods?

There has been a frenzy of reports regarding the accident that involved Tiger Woods in the media and the internet for a few weeks.  "As the police continue to investigate the Tiger Woods car crash incident that happened early Friday morning (November 27), it is believed that the golf stud had been involved in domestic violence prior to getting into his Cadillac Escalade.

According to Radar Online, Woods had gotten into an argument with his wife Elin Nordegren that escalated into a physical altercation. A neighbor told press they overheard Tiger shouting “You’ve ruined our Thanksgiving! Are you happy now?” at Elin as he left the house."

Well, apparently Tiger Woods had a lot of secret affairs and they all slowly came to the surface after this accident, shocking not only his poor wife, but the entire world too and his dear fans. Now, Tiger Woods is a great Golf Champion and has won many a trophy for this sport. But, that does not seem enough for the people at large, they are after his blood, wondering how he could be so "Immoral"?

What do we gain out of his personal affairs or his private life? What difference does it make to you or me if he was cheating on his wife? The truth would have come out sooner or later. Will the media now take great pleasure in ending his career and his life?

His wife is now asking for a divorce settlement. She wants the custody of her children. So, He has lost his wife, shattered his marriage, lost his kids and now has also lost a number of his sponsors and endorsements that he had going strong for him just a while back!

He apparently has decided to quit the sport (Golfing) that he loved the most and was good at. Have we lost a great sportsperson? Are we killing him, mercilessly, just for his "immoral" values? What has all that got to do with golfing?

He has apparently taken to the seas to literally, ride the storm that is blowing his way, and hopefully he will return when the storm has passed. But, will it pass quietly or will it destroy everything in it's path? Only time will tell. Till then, my sympathies are with Tiger Woods, not for what he did to his wife, but for what has happened to him.

Do Students Make a School Good, Or Does a Good School Make Good Students?

Do Students Make a School Good, Or Does a Good School Make Good Students? I was forced to think about this as I went about searching for a "good" school for my son, as my husband is taking retirement from his current government job and moving into the private job sector. This move, on the part of my husband will require us all to move to another part of the town in order to settle down to a new way of life.

We went scouting around the new place for a "good" enough School where we could seek admission for our son. So far, his primary education has been in the Central School (Kendriya Vidyalaya) that follows a CBSE syllabus and my husband wasn't particularly very happy about the way the teachers would handle the students and the subjects, not to speak of the discipline, which didn't seem to exist at all. Not that my son is a "duffer". No, he is, on the contrary quite an intelligent boy, who can grasp things very fast. The only drawback he seemed to face was that he needs special attention and to be pushed to show his true potential in any activity.

Anyway, so our quest for a "good" school that will be worthy enough, began. Now, I have heard of plenty of, so called "good schools", the likes of Delhi Public school, DAV Public School, Bombay Scottish, etc. etc...The list is endless. There are also many international schools around that boast of being real good schools.

Now, my question is, what is a "good school"? Does a "good School" really make a student worthy and good or is it vice versa? Will it really matter, which school I get admission for my son? I try to remember some students (celebrities) that made their school proud, and I couldn't come up with a single name. Did Sachin Tendulkar become a great batsman because of his school, or was it because of his own genius? Would it have made any difference if he had studied in any other school? I wonder.

I truly believe that if a student has any potential at all then it doesn't really matter which school he goes to. A student can perform well anywhere and will make his school proud, whether the school was good or not is immaterial. Recently, I saw that a student from a relatively lesser known school had won the Spelling Bee Championship. Obviously, he has made the school proud and has proved it to be a "good" enough school. So I guess I really need not bother about which school he goes to, as long as it is decent enough and has the basic facilities for proper growth and development of a child, and provides equal opportunities to all students to excel in any field that they choose.

What do you feel?

Tiger Woods - 18 Till I Die

The long list of Tiger Woods' exploits has reached 18. One for each hole, maybe it was some kind of a target he had set for himself. Being a Golfer would have automatically brought the number 18 to his mind for setting a target. What remains to be seen is if he goes beyond that magic figure.

1. Rachel Uchitel 

2. Reality star Jamie Grubbs.

3. Single mum and ex model Cori Rist.

4. Brunette Kalika Moquin, Vegas hostess.

5. MGM party favourite Jamie Jungers.

6. Diner waitress Mindy Lawton.

7. Former VIP cocktail waitress Julie Postle

8. Sexy married British TV presenter who was single at the time.

9. Blonde former cocktail waitress from Orlando, now also represented by lawyer.

10. Porn starlet Holly Sampson, who bedded him at his birthday party.

11. Blonde "cougar" Theresa Rogers, 49, now represented by lawyer Gloria Allred.

12. Ex Playboy cybergirl and Hawaiian Tropic model Loredana Jolie.

13. XXX porn star Joselyn James, whose family confirm their fling.

14. Movie star Jessica Simpson named by US magazine as a close "sextexter" of Tiger.

15. Twenty-something Atlanta party planner.

16. Sexy Illinois student who loves partying in Vegas.

17. Blonde party planner from Orlando, who had links to the UK.

18. Single mum San Diego dancer called Star. 

So is Tiger singing "18 Till I die" to his wife Erin convincing her that he would be faithful now and the number would not exceed 18. Fat chance of that. Once a cheater, always a cheater. Frankly his wife has no reason to either trust him or continuing to stay with him. Again why would Tiger Woods himself be interested in staying with her, now that the cat is out of the bag. When everyone knows about it and with his wife never going trust him again why would he not like to be free and independent. Maybe even renew his contacts with all the 18.

If any of them or both decide to stay together, it will mostly be because of media pressure. Erin deciding to put up a brave and mature face, la Hillary Clinton and Tiger to prove that he is not a bad man after all and is repentant. In either case it will be a facade since both know exactly what the other person thinks of him/her.

The loss to Golf will be immense if Tiger gives it all up for a woman. So will be the loss to so many more women, Tiger must be thinking.

Why and How To Buy LCD Monitor - Advantages over CRT Monitor and Specifications

Some of us refuse to keep in pace with technology. Reason, if we could do with or without something, we can continue to do so. There are many who still refuse to use computers to their advantage, leave alone using the Internet. An LCD monitor is one of these upgrades in technology which doesn't, in the eyes of these people, offer any advantages besides looking good on the table. They couldn't be far from wrong.

An LCD monitor offers many advantages over the good old CRT monitor. Let's see why one should buy or upgrade to LCD monitor.

First the obvious ones and then the larger issues.

(a) LCD monitors look good on the table.

(b) It occupies much lesser space and also increases the distance between the eyes and the screen.

(c) It is much lighter and easy to shift and transport.

(d) It consumes much less power than the CRT monitor of the same size. The power consuption of LCD monitors is as less as one-third of the same size CRT monitor.

(e) CRT monitors generate much more heat than LCD monitors.

(f) CRT monitors are susceptible to magnetic interference. LCD monitors are not.

(g) CRT monitors are known to emit VLF radiation, which may be damaging to health. The debate on this was prolonged and the jury is still out. Probably because there was no option earlier. Now that LCD monitors are replacing the CRT, maybe we will get to know the truth once the world is ready to phase out the CRT.

(h) LCD monitors don't have the flicker effect, a constant problem with CRT monitors due to lower refresh rates causing headaches and strain on the eyes.

(i) LCD monitors typically have a life of 30 - 50 thousand hours compared to 10 - 20 thousand hours for a CRT monitor.

(j) LCD monitors are brighter and reflect lesser ambient light than the CRT monitor.

(k) Sharper image quality, higher contrasts and higher resolutions are offered by LCD monitors

(l) LCD monitors are greener and produce less hazardous waste compared to CRT monitors which generate lead, cadmium, phosphor, barium and mercury.

I suppose the above advantages are sufficient for one to throw the CRT monitor out of the window. Don't actually throw it out, you can sell it back to the vendors and get some money back to part finance your LCD monitor.

Now that you have decide to buy an LCD monitor, let's see what are the things to look out for, be way of specifications, to get more bang for your buck?

Size: The bigger is not always better, you have to consider your own requirements for deciding this like if you are going to be watching movies on computer, a bigger size is better, but for normal working a standard 17-19 inches is better. However what you do need to notice and ask for is the viewable size, there are some 19 inch monitors which have a viewable size of 18.5 inches. That is surely not what you want to take home.

Aspect Ratio: This is the ratio of the horizontal and vertical measurement of the screen. Traditionally 4:3 was the AR of choice but now 16:9 AR monitors are in the market which are suitable for gaming and movies. These monitors are generally identified by the word "wide".

Resolution: LCD monitors have, what is called a native resolution. This means that the LCD monitor will function at its best at the native resolution. Yes, you will be able to adjust the resolution just like in a CRT monitor but be ready to sacrifice the picture and performance, you also may not then use the full screen of the monitor. It is best to decide beforehand and go for the desired native resolution.

Viewing angle: Most LCD monitors are now coming with a viewing angle of 160 degrees, which is far more than what is required for working on the computer. Unless you are palnning to screen a movie for the entire neighbourhood in a small room, but do make sure that you are not getting something like a 110 degree angle.

Contrast: The ratio of the brightness of white to black pixel is the contrast. The higher the number the better it is if you want blacker blacks and whiter whites.

Dynamic Contrast ratio: This is certainly different from the contrast ration and is the lowering of the backlight brightness to achieve better contrasts. This number is usually much higher than the contrast ratio, so don't get taken in by the DCR, though it does improve the picture and the higher it is the better.

Response Time: The minimum ime required to change the color of a pixel is called the response time. Obviously the lower it is the better. Anything less than 12 ms is sufficient for even gaming. Most displays now come with 5ms response time. A high response time might mean ghosting and motion blur during gaming.

Brightness: Measured in nits, candelas per meter square, it signifies who much light is being produced by the panel. The higher it is the better.

Connectors: Earlier all the monitors used to come with the analog connectivity using the DSub, 15 pin connector. Now the digital interfaces are available, like the DVI and even HDMI. However make sure that your video card supports these interfaces before you pay more for this type of connectivity.

Color depth: The number means the number of colors the monitor can display. The higher it is the better the picture is.

Pixel pitch: The distance between two pixels is the pixel pitch. The lesser the distance the shraper is the picture.

Adjustable height stand: Though most stands have the swivel and tilt feature if the kids are going to use the computer along with the adults it is better to ask for a stand with an adjustable height feature.

If you take care of these aspects while taking a decision on which LCD monitor to buy, that would be sufficient and you ought to get the best deal.

It is not that LCD monitors do not have any disadvantages, they do but rest assured that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.

Happy shopping.

Climate Change - Copenhagen Climate Summit

In following the Copenhagen climate summit so much is being talked about the climate change all over the Internet and the newspapers that it would seem that Climate change was the only problem afflicting this earth. In the process people seem to have to have forgotten the other problems like food shortage, poverty, water problems, illiteracy, AIDS etc. Do I hear someone say that the climate change is responsible for all this? Very convenient for someone who does not have other problems to think of.

Do we really think someone in Somalia is bothered about the emissions when he does not have any food to eat? Is some poor beggar on the Indian roads bothered about how much pollution a rich man's car is causing, as long as he gets some money from him? Is a poor child trying to study under a street light bothered about how much coal is being burnt to provide him that light? Not really.

I really do not understand what the motive of the Industrialized countries is to insist upon the less fortunate ones to follow their diktats or example. It almost seems like the developed nations are saying, "If you do not stop polluting, I will also not do so." That is a funny logic. If some country can achieve some kind of reduced emissions status and can do so conveniently, why do they just not go ahead and do it? It will surely help. Why then are they insisting on others also to follow suit?

It has something to do with control, I guess. I remember on earth day people want everyone to switch off their lights for one hour. Fat lot of difference it made to any one. Better would be to insist on people to switch off lights when they are not required. Similarly people should control emissions to the extent they can without insisting on everyone else to do the same.

The only comprehensible logic I can see to this "follow the leaders" kind of attitude is that the developed nations want to sell their advanced technology to the poorer nations and to that end snatch away the use of cheaper natural resources from them. If that was not the case the proponents of Climate change would silently be reducing their emissions and setting an example for the other countries to follow by the incontrovertible proof of a better life for their citizens. Didn't the various inventions over the history of mankind find their own followers? Why do the developed nations think that the other countries will not follow suit if they succeed in making a difference by preaching what they are trying to teach?

Under these circumstances what is the Copenhagen summit or any other summit going to achieve?